- How old am I:
Finding your person is no easy task.
In short, I have an idea of the kind of man I want to call my husband. What or who am I looking for? A man who will allow me to be uncompromisingly myself—strong, independent and just a little feisty. J ust as important, I am also looking for a man who will take the lead. A husband who le exhibits strength, intentionality and the desire to protect and pursue in love, all qualities that I personally love the most in men.
A husband who le exhibits strength, intentionality and the desire to protect and pursue in love. Men who lead well in marriage start out by doing so in dating relationships.
Yet, if I have to be the one leading in order for a relationship to deepen in commitment or survive trials, then I usually lose interest. For me, the very act of pursuit cools me down. I recently had a conversation around this topic with a friend. This woman is quite progressive and all for egalitarianism.
Many women want to be won over. We want to be pursued. We want to be asked out on dates, communicated with and led into deeper commitment by our partners. While I fully realize that marriage will involve sacrificing a ificant portion of my independence, I also expect a husband to embrace that part of me: the woman who has worked for herself, moved overseas solo and enjoys her alone time.
Having these standards may extend the wait for marriage, but I also believe it will make the wait worth it. Kelsey is a writer, Southern California native and self-proclaimed hummus addict. She looks for creative inspiration in God, people and good conversation. This is such a wonderful article and it is a subject matter that us women, like you typed, cringe when whenever someone brings the role of leading up. There is a uniqueness in the relationship, both parts lead but in a different way. A easy way to help others understand it is looking at a relationship between a project manager.
They lead and guide the project put also listen to the inputs of the partners in the projects without domineering. I spent my entire adulthood searching for this and finally found it. I resonate with this so much! I am currently in a relationship and I have found myself learning so much with my boyfriend. He allows me to take the lead and pursue my dream. He is one to meet me in the middle and asks for my opinion.
I love that I can be both strong and weak with him. He pursued me from the beginning and believe that it has created a solid foundation to let him love me well. It is all about working as a team. You will never be truly strong or independent until you have ability for what happens in the relationship.
Here's what women want in a man, according to experts
We want to be asked out on dates. Can you give a specific example? Thanks for the article. I really like Darling Magazine. At this moment, I am 48 Yrs old and married a second time, now 10 Yrs. My interest is peaked as I read about your desires in a marriage. For me, I continue to grow, deepen spirituality, and advance in my career.
Thanks for the ideas. Good luck. This article resonates with me so much.
At this period of time where MeToo and feminism are taking force, I feel bad for deeply desiring a man who le in a relationship. As though doing so makes me less feminist. But this article sums up the exact feelings I have. I married a man JUST like this—a man who takes the lead but allows me to be myself. A man who supports my passions just as much as I support his, both emotionally and practically. I love this! His presence in my life brings me simultaneous feeling of security and freedom.
I can be strong and weak, because I know I have a partner who can balance me along the way. Thank you for sharing Sarah. Amen, a thousand times amen. I, too, moved solo to a new country and maintain high standards which people always question. I am all about balanced life where women and men have different kind of strengths. This is wonderfully put! Thank you, Kelsey, for your words! I respect that a lot of women want a man to pursue them.
People want different things. So if I do all this, what did my exes do? I felt like I was being used. I decided that the relationship needs to be balanced. But I would like to hear what other women think. Is it really so wrong for me to say: I want an equal relationship.
Slideshow: 19 secrets women wish you knew
I just want to walk beside someone…. I absolutely love this! I think most of us nowadays are looking for the same! Thanks for sharing! I LOVE this!!!! As a Christian single 34 year old woman that has never been asked out, this is what I want for myself too. Thank you for writing this article and laying it out so astutely!!!! Save my name,and website in this browser for the next time I comment. I am also looking for a man who will take the lead. Women are the Prize Men who lead well in marriage start out by doing so in dating relationships.
What are your thoughts on men leading in relationships? Do you think this way of thought is outdated or misunderstood? Pin it 7. Kelsey Yarnell Kelsey is a writer, Southern California native and self-proclaimed hummus addict. View Post. Anyways, such a delightful read and beautifully described and written.
I love this and I feel exactly the same way!!! Love this article. But would love to hear thoughts. I love this post so much, Kelsey!
Totally agree. Thank you Julie! So glad this encouraged you. The right man is worth the wait. Search for: Search.