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You can be sure that almost any woman you've met in your life has had her share of Women emotional baggage from relationships before meeting you, unresolved issues from the past and are possibly even still reeling from the negative effects of past problems. You wouldn't be far-fetched for thinking this can even include things like sexual and physical abuse. So now that you've met the woman of your dreams but can't seem to shake the doubt that there's more to her than meets the eye, here's your first step to dealing with her possible emotional baggage--identifying if she has any at all. This may seem a bit odd in your mind as many people have strange habits but if your woman does in fact indulge in compulsive smoking, eating, drinking or even obsessive cleanliness chances are she's got some sort of unchecked emotion that she's compensating for through such behavior. It's unfair to assume that only due to such formulaic behaviour she has emotional baggage but when combined with other red flags, it's often a pretty good. Such women behave either one of two ways.
When discussing conflict, one thing the therapist said struck me in particular: "We are all carrying backpacks that we continually load up.
When feelings have not been able to run their course, they tend to hang around. It stood out to me so much because it reminded me of something a friend had said a few years back after breaking up with his girlfriend.
Imagine for a second that you're carrying a backpack. I want you to feel the straps on your shoulders.
Remember that communication is key
Now … I want you to fill it with people. Start with casual acquaintances, friends of friends, folks around the office, and then you move into the people that you trust with your most intimate secrets. Your cousins, your aunts, your uncles, your brothers, your sisters, your parents and finally your husband, your wife, your boyfriend or your girlfriend.
You get them into that backpack … Feel the weight of that bag. Make no mistake — your relationships are the heaviest components in your life. Do you feel the straps cutting into your shoulders?
All those negotiations and arguments, and secrets and compromises. You don't need to carry all that weight. Why don't you set that bag down?
So what is this proverbial backpack? To get to the bottom of it pun intendedI enlisted the help of mental health experts to find out what experiences weigh us down, how this emotional weight is holding us back, and what we can do to begin emptying out the junk.
Emotional baggage does feel like you are wearing or carrying a bag filled with emotions. The key to healthier functionality lies in learning to manage our perceptions and strengthen ourselves as we mature in order to respond to our daily experience in healthier ways. While carrying past experiences and the emotions that came with them may help us better navigate future experiences, they also take a toll on our health. One study found that emotional baggage can be a real barrier to making healthy lifestyle changes like exercising moreeating healthier or quitting smoking.
Of course, negative emotions — and responses to others — are a natural part of life. So how do we tell the difference between healthy, negative experiences and harmful emotional baggage? In addition to your general state of mind, Ward says that unresolved emotions often show up in behaviors such as:.
If you do recognize some of these emotions or behaviors in yourself, the next step is determining the underlying cause. Emotional baggage is as unique to each person as the suitcase they pack it in.
But there are some common issues — and feelings surrounding them — that arise, says Ward. Some of the recurring issues she sees in her clients include:.
6 s your girlfriend has emotional baggage
Awareness might have to occur many times even while you repeat the same unhealthy patterns of behavior. And that is a process that can't be rushed even though you may desire change quickly. Once you are ready to face those emotions head on and make a change, here are how experts recommend going about it:.
Unloading the backpack is only part of the equation. Once it is emptied to a manageable level, you then enter a maintenance phase, where you need to continually work to prevent it from being stuffed full again. What each of these things offers us is the "pause" from everyday life to really get in touch with those underlying emotions so that we can address them and then let them go. Want more tips like these? IE 11 is not supported.
9 s she has emotional baggage
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By Brianna Steinhilber.