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  • I am 41


I have been married for 14 years to a man I thought I knew about everything. I loved him I saw passion in the way he caressed her. I think he is falling for her. I don't know what to do about it.


Swinging can sound exciting, thrilling, and sexy. Partner swapping, play with the same sex, and sexual exploration are all part of this lifestyle.

Unfortunately the excitement of a new partner, and the thrill of the first touch of a virtual stranger, can quickly fade to disappointment. Swingers can be finicky people. Some have strange rules, weird sexual ideas, and some are just in the wrong lifestyle. Here are a few common occurrences and personality types that can quickly ruin a potential night of swinger fun. The Shower Couple: Showering with a partner is fun. Extra wet sex is exciting, but I ran into a couple that made a shower a prerequisite for sex.

What i wish i knew before i became a swinger

We started the evening with drinks at a local restaurant. As with most dates, the conversations covered topics like kids, work, and rules of engagement. The shower couple seemed overly concerned that the people they hook up with weren't clean enough. They tried to make the scenario sound sexy, but essentially they wanted to "disinfect" you before screwing you.

We said screw you and walked out!

Whiskey Dick and Mr. Premature: The evening is going well. The company is great. Everyone gets along well and is actually attracted to each other. The time has come to grab a hotel room. After an evening of flirting and teasing the sexual tension is about to burst.

And burst it does--my bubble that is. Some guys suddenly become overwhelmed by the moment while others have a case of whiskey dick. No Condom : Recently Mr. No Condom has been a reoccurring partner.

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Soccer dad and I are out at a club and we finally meet a hot couple. Then suddenly the guy tells me he usually plays without protection.

This is just a big NO NO! I never play without a condom and neither does Soccer Dad. We usually bring a couple of condoms, but those are supposed to be for Soccer Dad. This usually puts a damper on the evening. Guys, always bring a condom. Drama Queen: It seems every time we go out we encounter a drama queen.

See a problem?

While we might not choose this couple for our evening fuck, she is still out to ruin someone's good time. The drama queen needs to be the center of attention.

The hotel room won't be good enough, her husband isn't paying enough attention to her, or the husband is paying too much attention to someone else. This woman is probably yelling I love you baby while fucking your man. Non-Swingers: Sometimes Mr. Non-Swingers are newbies and sometimes they are a couple that should never have attempted the swinging lifestyle. One of them usually doesn't want to participate, but does only to please the other spouse. From my experience it's normally the male half who wants to swing and the female half is just going along with the idea.

This rarely works out.

She is going to have a somewhat good time for most of the evening, but when she sees her man putting the moves on another woman, things get awkward. This is when it's time to go home. Follow Rebecca on Twitter or Facebook.

Kay moriarty, 78 shares her deepest regret;

Swinging: when things go wrong. Rebecca Ammon. Mar 1, 12 AM. We welcome readers to submit letters regarding articles and content in Creative Loafing.

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Writers of letters selected for publication will be notified via. Letters may be edited and shortened for space. us at comments cltampa.

Affair recovery starts here.

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