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Log in through your institution. This study explored how couples of Mexican origin define power in intimate relationships, what makes men and women feel powerful in relationships, and the role of each partner in decision making about sexual and reproductive matters. Interviews were conducted with each partner of 39 sexually active couples and data were analyzed using content analysis. indicate that power is perceived as control over one's partner and the ability to make decisions.

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A quick search will reveal that the romance between the main characters, Mr. In fact, Christian Grey appears to really only get satisfaction from sex when it involves inflicting pain or dominance over his partner, which, following criteria from the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders DSM IV-TR used by mental health professionals to make diagnoses, could be considered a mental disorder called sexual sadism. He even explains to the character Anastasia Steele at one point that this is just the way he is, almost with sorrow.

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She herself has issues with low self-esteem and confidencewhich is perhaps why she is so drawn to the seemingly overly confident Christian. Both characters appear to function as well as the average person in their fictional world, but both have issues that could potentially need to be addressed by a professional if they lived in the real world. He has major difficulties maintaining any lasting romantic relationship, and yet the relationship between Christian and Anastasia seems to have been received in a somewhat positive light, considering the large following of readers.

The Experts Weigh In Several mental health experts have offered their insight into the unusual relationship found in Fifty Shades of Grey and the two other novels in the series. Why Does She Do That? Despite or Strong sexually dominant women portland or of the unusual relationship involving pain and pleasure and emotional issuesmany women appear to be captivated by the novels.

If anything, women might be more prone to sexually experiment during or after reading the novels. Karim explains further why the novel is so appealing to women and meneven with the dysfunctional and sometimes even depressing personalities of the characters. He said the novel could help couples become more creative in their sex lives, but going to any extremes is generally not beneficial. Overall, the BDSM series is encouraging men and women to discuss sexuality more openly with each other.

Kari Tabag, a d clinical social worker, works with adolescents and college-age men and women and has read the series. She said the novel has passages that hint at mental health issues like posttraumatic stress, codependencyBDSM, and alcoholism. Also, she emphasizes that the actual relationship depicted in the series is very unhealthy in many ways.

Viewpoint From a Submissive Kasi Alexander, the author of several books and short stories about alternative lifestyles, such as Becoming Sage and Saving Sunnihas herself been involved in the lifestyles of polyamoryBDSM, and power exchange.

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She said in an that the relationship between Christian and Anastasia is not necessarily a model of the typical BDSM or power exchange relationship. The characters themselves are also not typical. Accepting your dominant or submissive tendencies does not kill the desire for intimacycloseness, or connection.

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Submissives are stereotypically extremely strong, capable people. Alexander adds that the BDSM lifestyle can even be considered therapeutic in different ways. And just like in other bad relationships, abuse and manipulation can happen, but that is a matter of individual personalities and relationships, not a characteristic of BDSM as a whole. She believes that people will eventually become more accepting of these types of lifestyles and realize that they can be beneficial to people who can learn how to make them work.

BDSM and power exchange can be done badly and for the wrong reasons, but they can also be used for personal, professional, and spiritual growth and for the enhancement of relationships.

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The preceding article was solely written by the author named above. Any views and opinions expressed are not necessarily shared by GoodTherapy. Questions or concerns about the preceding article can be directed to the author or posted as a comment below. Please fill out all required fields to submit your message.

Why women are finding this kind of book about control and sadomasochism so fascinating is beyond me. Why would I want to read about a woman who allows herself to be treated in such a way?

I think way too much of myself to read that kind of crap. It is HOT! Allow yourself to let go of some of that feminine angst that you have inside and experience the story. If nothing else, it might help you spice up your own sex life! Or is that just me?

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She stated that it was just fun to read about something that is typically thought of as so naughty in society but that most women wanted to experience. Wome want to be dominated? I am confused and told her that. I thought women wanted equality in the bedroom and the boardroom. Ok, I am leaving this one for the women, because the more I even try to talk about it the more confused I get, and there are enough confused husbands in the world already.

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Kasi Alexander makes some really interesting points. As for why women want submission, even though they fight for equality: we fight for the right to choose what we do with our life. In my experience this le to a greater understanding of each partners needs not to mention complete openess and honesty.

Dominatrix is the feminine form of the latin "dominator," a ruler or lord.

Open your mind a little. This is the problem with males and females these days. The feminists have ruined it for both sexes and now nobody understands why women like to be dominated in the bedroom, and everybody is standing around scratching their he.

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This is a fair trade being made with the consent of both parties. There is nobody being hurt here and both people are better off. This whole politically correct propaganda is really screwing things up sexually for people around the world. I make sure she is taken care of, has her needs fulfilled and she surrenders to me in bed in return. I LIKE making life altering decisions. I like the autonomy to make my own choices.

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And only a man would suggest that women would be happier as second class citizens. Do you even history? Obviously women are all individuals with different personalities.

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I would say for me, personally, yes this is true. Big decisions about money and business, especially ones that require negotiation and carry risk, bring me a great deal of stress and anxiety. I am not an anxious helpless person but I have noticed this about myself, that forcing myself to pursue career, business and academic success makes me feel sick and unhappy. I get so exhausted that I then fantasize about extreme kinds of stuff, even about a man making small decisions and being a literal slave, and being hurt, injured even.

I think that is why these movies are successful, women need an escape and they want to feel free. I am not sure these fantasies are healthy but come from emotional exhaustion living a life that I, as a strong but feminine woman, am not well suited for. I would prefer to have a trusted man take control in important decisions so that I can be free to enjoy life and do work that I enjoy.

I get satisfaction from serving, helping, and being domestic. So yes, I see it as an equal and consensual, and necessary for a healthy society. In Hinduism they have Shiva and Shatki to explain the divine masculine and feminine energies, and this exists in Taoism and Tantric Buddhism.

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I am not any of these religions but this is interesting. Our sexuality is very important and how we related as masculine and feminine is a foundation for family, and the whole culture and society. I have taken control in business and career because it was required of me and because I felt that was what I had to do. I am at a point realizing that I was suppressing my nature to impress other people because that is how I was raised to believe my value was in being educated and having a career.

Neo Feminism, on the whole, has been very bad to women and we are seeing the ill effects in Western culture today. The emancipation of women does not require the feminine nature to be suppressed and devalued, and that is what new wave feminism it is, it is actually anti-feminine.

As well as misogynistic in many ways. Really the future of Western Civilization depends on men and women seeing these kinds of kinky fantasies as our bodies and minds communicating a deeper need for connection, tradition and family.

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It is a deeper need of the feminine and masculine energies to connect, relate, and build something meaningful together. I have not read this book because of certain reviews that I have read combined with my own experience in relationships that I have had. I, for one, would be considered a submissive in the BDSM community. I am submissive because it fits my personality.

I am a very confident, strong individual and BDSM has made me even more so.

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To be a submissive or a dominant in a successful BDSM relationship, you have to be confident, trust worthy, and trusting. You have to care about your submissive, and visa versa, to make it work. If you can not trust your dom because of what they have done or because of something that has happened in the past that has hurt you, then the relationship WILL NOT work. Both partners have limitations.

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