But how does one stop being so controlling in a relationship? We asked experts to share their insights.
There might be affiliate links on thiswhich means we get a small commission of anything you buy. As an Amazon Associate we earn from qualifying purchases. Please do your own research before making any online purchase. It is not easy to look at yourself in the mirror and see that you are the one who is being controlling in a relationship… whether that relationship is romantic, familial or friendly.
It can be much more subtle. For some people, it may come across as excessive concern or worry.
To figure out if you are being controlling, you need to ask yourself a few questions. Some of the most common are:. Sometimes even professional help.
In this article, I will provide 7 actionable steps to help you stop being controlling… or at least get you on the right path. The need to be controlling often stems from anxiety… anxiety driven by fear, stress or uncertainty. If you are stressed about finances, for instance, you may continuously ask your wife to for every dollar she spends. You may ask to see receipts or credit card statements.
How to stop being controlling in your relationship
She will likely view this as a lack of trust in her… or disrespect. That you are controlling her the same way you would. Your intentions are honorable, but the way you are letting your anxiety dictate your behavior is not. Instead of demanding that she answer to you, try explaining the reasons behind your actions and seek her help moving forward to balance and maintain a budget.
Once you identify what stresses you out, you will be in a position to connect that to certain behaviors and adjust accordingly. Controlling behavior can sometimes be the manifestation of insecurities instilled upon you as. Thoughts of never being good enough or having to be the best. As an adult, you may view this as a second chance to set the tone of your life… and the lives of those closest to you.
How to stop being so controlling in a relationship
If you want to stop being controlling, you need to pinpoint your insecurities and face them head-on. You start to lose trust in him and find yourself going through his texts while he is in the shower… looking for validation. One tiny insecurity has led to a slew of potentially avoidable and catastrophic ones… insecurities that have now put your relationship in jeopardy by causing you to behave irrationally. And trust me on this… if you try and smother someone too much, you will be giving them all of the fuel he or she needs to bring your worst nightmares to life. But they can also express feelings of sadness, disappointment, resentment, disgust, anger and hatred.
Stop controlling relationship times, their disdain will be expressed in a much less obvious way. Like a ninja sneaking up on you. If you want to stop being controlling, it is important to be aware of the way in which you use certain words or phrases and how others may perceive them.
Few people will respond well to continuously being told they are poor decision makers.
After a while, they will either begin to resent you for making them question themselves… or else eventually cut you out of their life. Controlling people, on the other hand, take issue with the notion of not having things go their way.
Manage your anxiety and put an end to your controlling behavior.
They will work tirelessly to retain control of a situation or person… even if it puts strain on their relationships. The problem with that is no matter how hard you make them work, there is still a chance they will struggle in certain areas and make mistakes. Partly because you are being so hard on them that it causes stress… but also because they are human. If you want to stop being controlling you need to realize that not everything in life is within your control.
You can also try forming more realistic expectations that everybody can work with. This way, you are less likely to be disappointed.
Some of the s you’re being controlling…
If you see that your child is hanging out with friends that are causing her to get into trouble, or behave differently, you may need to remove her from the situation. Demand that she no longer see them. You may also enroll her in after school activities, or volunteer programs, that get her back on track. Sometimes you need to step away from a situation in order to gain perspective. If you are too close to it, you may not always see clearly. There are also times when you may need to enlist the help of someone you trust to give you an unbiased opinion about something.
This person can be a family member, friend, colleague. The important thing is that you value their opinion and are willing to hear it. This person should also be able to give you constructive Stop controlling relationshipwithout making you feel bad about your behavior… because that would likely cause you to stop listening and ignore whatever good advice they have to offer.
If two people with controlling behavior are in a relationship, chances are they will but he often because neither will want to budge. If someone who is controlling is in a relationship with someone more passive, it is likely to be very one-sided and less fulfilling. The ideal relationship is a symbiotic one. Instead of trying to force your wife to watch football with you on Sunday afternoons, even though you know she is bored by it… why not find a sport or other activity that you both enjoy doing before the games start?
You can spend time together going for a hike or taking a yoga class. Then, when game time comes, she will feel that her needs have been met and may even surprise you by watching the first half. If your complaint with your partner has more to do with personality conflicts than their interests… the art of compromise still applies. Certain traits are innate, not learned.
And it can be very hard to make someone change something about themselves that they have been doing for most or all of their life. The best you can hope for is finding common ground you can stand on together… without it breaking. Whether it was a person or circumstances that made you this way… it can be unlearned with time, discipline and patience. Nicole Krause has been writing both personally and professionally for over 20 years. She holds a dual B. As a happily married and extremely busy mother of four… her articles primarily focus on parenting, marriage, family, finance, organization and product reviews.
Pin Do I rarely, if ever, admit that I am wrong? Am I willing to compromise on my expectations of how things should be done or how someone should behave?
Do I respect that my partner needs friends or hobbies separate from me? Do I always have the final say? Do I use sex or intimacy as a weapon? Do I use guilt trips to get my way? What You Will Learn 1. Identify Your Insecurities 3.
If you want to stop being controlling, you need to appreciate what sets the two of you apart. Related Posts.