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Certainly not. The kids will always come first. If one of them got sick or he needed to be there for them in some way, our life was put on hold. It was difficult at first but I had to remember that kids deserve that from a parent.

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That said, there are a few factors to think about that you otherwise wouldn't have to.

Thinking about dating someone with kids? here’s what a relationship expert wants you to know first

Here, Dr. O'Reilly shares insight on what to know and what to discuss with your potential partner before pursuing a full-on relationship with someone who has children. How involved are they with their kids, and much do they want you to be involved, too?

One big question to ask early on is how big of a role that person plays in their kids' lives. Next, Dr. O'Reilly says it's important to ask how big of a role your potential partner is expecting you to play in their kids' lives.

16 things you need to know if you're dating a man with kids

Will you be more like the fun aunt? Do they want to date casually and not have you in [their kids'] lives at all?

O'Reilly says it's important that both people are on the same early on so no conflicts around the expectations arise later, when feelings are deeper and more complicated. O'Reilly says. What is important, she notes, is communicating early on so that you create your own rulebook together.

Something else Dr. O'Reilly says to consider before jumping into a relationship with someone with kids is if you are both envisioning the same type of future. She reiterates that because parents play such varying roles in their kids' lives—with some being more active and present than others, depending on the kids' age and custody arrangements—there isn't one specific type of lifestyle that has to become "your lifestyle" if you decide to move forward with the relationship, but it is something to be aware of. If another parent is involved, Dr.

O'Reilly says it's worth it to think about navigating that relationship as well.

If you decide to move forward with the relationship, figuring out when you should meet the kids is bound to be something on your mind. O'Reilly says that kids—of all ages—are intuitive and smart; they don't like being tricked or lied to.

If the parent introduced someone as "just a colleague" but then later it's apparent you're dating, they are going to feel tricked and that isn't good for the relationships between everyone involved, she explains. The resounding advice to dating someone with kids is communication, communication, communication.

But Dr. O'Reilly emphasizes that dating someone with kids can lead to a beautiful, fulfilling relationship if both people envision the same future together. You just might end up with even more love in your life than you were expecting.

If you're in your 40s and dating, here are some things to keep in mind.

Interested in dating a woman with kids? all you need to know about dating a woman with kids & the importance of her children

And BTW, this is how many dates it takes until something is a relationship. Become an Insider. Enter Address.

Facebook Pinterest Twitter Youtube Instagram. E ven with just two people involved, dating can be challenging.

Adding and potentially a co-parent to the equation means there are even more factors to be aware of. Just ask Luke and Lorelai. Related Stories.

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