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I think I have been reading too many magazine quizzes and too many relationship books for my own good. My feeling is that you should let him say it first. I say that because him saying it first to you means a lot more than you saying it to him first… When he says it to you first, it will come across as him declaring something to you.


When is the right time to say i love you?

Noah and Allie. Chuck and Blair. Harry and Sally.

What have they all taught us? And not just in the movies.

Written by eric charles

Saying "I love you" to someone IRL is an incredibly hard thing to do, especially when you're saying it for the first time. So much is going through your head.

There's the fear of rejection—that the person you're saying it to doesn't feel the same way. There's the fear that you're not going to say it right. Or that you'll say it too soon.

But there is some good news when it comes to declaring your love. Chloe" Carmichael, PhD. But there are a few caveats to consider.

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Here's everything you need to know about saying "I love you" for the first time. So you might want to do a self check-in to make sure now is the right time for you. For many women, saying those three words requires a certain level of depth in their feelings, Dr. Chloe says. Now we're in love. The right time is usually when there's been clear s of reciprocity.

No one wants to blurt out those three words without the slightest clue if your partner will say them back.

But even if you aren't entirely positive that they will, you should at least be sure that your relationship has been moving at a mutually satisfying pace, and that real feelings are there. Saying "I love you" could just mean "I think you are great" to one person, and "I am feeling so full of love for you and I hope you will be in my life for a very long time" to another, she says.

Hendrix adds: "You are ready to say these words when your relationship has moved from the magical fairy dust stage into a real partnership, where you see both the good and challenging aspects of each other and love each other more for both.

So don't feel intimidated if you've been waiting for your partner to say those three little words. It's possible that they are having the same hesitation you are, not because they don't feel it, but because they want to know if you do first. And how exactly are you supposed to figure that out? Two words: love language.

Should you say it first?

In case you've been living under a love-deprived rock, you probably have heard of Gary Chapman, the author of The 5 Love Languages, who created a test for couples to learn how they each show and receive love. The languages include words of affirmation, acts of servicereceiving gifts yes, please! But when it comes to saying "I love you" for the first time, the general consensus is definitely to say it not just show it. But she also tells her clients who are worried about rejection that it's okay to couch the phrase a bit. I feel like I'm on the edge and I could open up and start to fall in love.

This slightly milder, less bare-it-all approach gives you an opportunity to learn whether or not this relationship and your partner has the capacity for love.

Hendrix recommends adding in some words that further define what those feelings mean to you, to avoid any misunderstandings. So I don't want to scare you and tell you that there's a wrong time to say "I love you," but yes, there's a wrong time to say "I love you.

There’s more to saying “i love you” than sharing a powerful emotion.

If the other person isn't completely sure they feel the same way, sometimes they just need time to process and really understand their feelings. That's always a good thing.

On the other hand, if they're certain that they "can't get there with you" as Bachelor Nation would say, "acknowledge yourself for having the courage to say 'I love you' and for being someone who can not only feel this intense emotion, but also share it," Hendrix says. That's hugely commendable.

Can how soon a man says he loves you therefore determine not only if he is falling in love with you, but whether or not he justwants to get you into bed?

If you have found yourself in the middle of unrequited love, Dr. In the end, "the wound of unrequited love is often a self-healing wound," and you'll be just fine. Remember that you deserve someone who wants you the way you want them and loves you the way you love them, and nothing less than that will do. And in moments of struggle?

Grab that pint of vegan ice creamwatch your favorite rom-comand move on. Just don't forget to say I love you to the person who needs to hear it most: you.

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While all great love stories are nuanced and should be allowed to unfold organically, we sought guidance from the experts to help you determine if the right time to say "I love you" first is now, later… or never.


The Frisky -- If I have a daughter one day, among the many things I'll teach her will be how to tie her shoes, to look both ways before crossing the street, to never end a sentence with a preposition, and to always let the man say "I love you" first.


Ackerman of M.