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An advice columnist sets out to find out which city is better for finding romance
But it has nothing to do with baseball. Meanwhile, some of my single friends and readers in New York City have wondered whether it might be easier to find a partner in Boston. Those New Yorkers assume that in a smaller city, people might be less transient. Less fickle.
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They believe that in a place like Boston, people are more interested in long-term commitments. Still, both groups make good points about why the grass might be greener elsewhere. Maybe not, but as an advice columnist, I want to try.
When I ask around about the dating culture in both cities, I get a lot of generalizations. A few single people over 50 tell me there are too many college kids in Boston. But then a few New Yorkers tell me the same thing about their city.
So I went to find the data on dating. Soma made his map when he was working as a Web developer, in response to a very vague map of singles 18 to 64 published in the Globe in by the social theorist Richard Florida. A of cities, including Boston and New York, had more single women than single men on the map, while the opposite was true in many others, especially along the West Coast.
And I realized that this map was terrible for all kinds of statistical reasons. But in the real world, year-olds are highly unlikely to be looking for romance with senior citizens, and vice versa. The more specific map Soma built, based on data, shows that if you count every single man and woman agesNew York and Boston look identical: Both cities have a 51 to 49 ratio of single women to single men. Once you hit age 50, though, single women out single men just about anywhere.
He still regularly gets e-mails asking him for specific data on things such as racial makeup or education levels. Another failure of these maps: They define single as unmarried.
Atlanta sits in the No. According to the app, the No. Sitting at No. New York roars back on Match. The only city in Match.
Boston, interestingly enough, has an unusually high rate of educated members, which actually has a moderate correlation with female satisfaction on the site. These rankings, then, are all over the map when it comes to Boston and New York. For a singular opinion on the dating culture in both cities, I went to Zachary Zane, who writes about culture, sexuality, and non-traditional relationships for a variety of publications.
The year-old has plenty to say about how people couple up and why.
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A Vassar graduate, he lived in Boston, and now resides in New York. When he moved to Boston, Zane feared the city would be too traditional for him to have the love life he wanted. But he found a boyfriend, and they were polyamorous. Choose a place to live based on the quality of your whole life, he says, not just your romantic opportunities.
She now splits her time between Brooklyn and Los Angeles. Janice found Boston a challenging place to date. But she acknowledges she was never percent invested in finding love in Boston. She knew she wanted to be in New York for creative opportunities, and that made her time here feel temporary.
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Once she moved to Brooklyn to build the professional life she wanted, it also changed her personal life. I feel more confident in New York.
The easiest place to date is where it feels like home — or, more importantly, where you feel like the best version of yourself. Season 2, Episode 3 of her Love Letters podcast is about dating and geography.
Send comments to [ protected]. Graphics, de, and development Patrick Garvin. Audience engagement Devin Smith. Lead photo images Adobe Stock.
An advice columnist sets out to find out which city is better for finding romance By Meredith Goldstein. the discussion Tell us what you think: Is it easier to date in one city than another?