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When I was 11 years old, my mother silently snuck into my bedroom. Under the cover of midnight, she sat cross-legged at the end of my bed and proceeded to give me The Talk, although it was more of a whisper. Instead of focusing on the anatomy of sex — the biological prophecies by which, some say, our bodies were made to meld into one — my mother chose to emphasize pleasure. She spoke about the importance of passion: pursuing it, asking for it and finding it within yourself. Society has a tendency to perpetuate this idea that the older a woman grows, the more she yearns for the beauty of her youth.


Sex in later life doesn't need to be different to when you were younger. Many older people enjoy an active sex life, and why not?

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Your sexual health is an important aspect of your overall wellbeing. Sex releases chemicals, called endorphins, which lift your mood. This can help to relieve stress and make you happier. But you might have questions about some of the logistics The menopause can affect women differently.

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Some women experience vaginal dryness which can make sex uncomfortable. To relieve these symptoms, try using a vaginal moisturiser or lubricant. Some types of soaps and shower gels can make vaginal dryness worse so try and avoid them using lukewarm water alone instead. But if the symptoms persist it may be best to speak to your doctor. Most men develop erection problems as they get older. The cause can be physical or psychological but can often be alleviated by simple lifestyle changes, such as losing weight or stopping smoking.

However, if erection problems persist for more than a few weeks it's best to see your doctor, who may prescribe you medication or give you treatment options. Some people find that these changes cause a lack of confidence in the bedroom. Our society places great emphasis on looking young in order to be attractive and this can lead some older people to feel that they are no longer desirable.

But you can be confident and attractive at any age.

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Reduced sexual desire can be due to a of reasons including falling levels of sex hormones in both men and women, age-related health problems and side effects of medications. Problems with sexual desire can lead to one or both partners feeling disappointed or rejected. Taking time to relax together can often improve sexual desire.

Older women more likely to lose interest in sex

This could mean having a glass of wine together, spending time cuddling or having a chat. Additionally, having discussions about reduced sexual desire and why it might be happening can help put you both at ease. HRT is used to relieve symptoms of the menopause by replacing hormones that are at a lower level as you approach the menopause. Health promotion messages give the impression that condoms and concerns about sexually transmitted infections STIs are applicable to young people only. However, age does not protect you from STIs.

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If you have a new sexual partner, or more than one sexual partner, unprotected sex could put you at risk of getting an STI. Condoms are the only form of contraception that will help to protect you from STIs so it's importanrt to use them. You can also get tested for these infections are sexual health clinics.

Our physical health can change as we get older and we can become more likely to develop different health conditions, such as heart conditions, arthritis and dementia.

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If you've been diagnosed with a health issue it's sensible to check with your doctor before resuming your sex life to make sure you are fully fit to do so. The emotional stress that comes with a diagnosis can also impact your sex life. Your partner may be worried about hurting or overexciting you, or if your illness has left scarring or required amputation, you may worry whether your partner still finds you attractive.

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Illness may have also changed the nature of your relationship, making one of you more dependent on the other than before. You could try new things together, to see what feels good for both of you. You could also talk to your doctor about your concerns, especially if sex causes physical pain or discomfort.

Many people feel self-conscious with a new partner. Remind yourself the other person probably feels the same. If you're in a new relationship, make sure you discuss each other's expectations. Doing this first will ensure that each of you know what you want from your time together. Things to discuss could be:.

“we slept with hundreds of people”: 3 older women on sex and pleasure

Back to top. Postcode Please enter a valid postcode Submit. Sex in later life. Your body Your sex drive Sexually transmitted infections Your physical health New relationships. Your body. Women Men The menopause can affect women differently. To help boost your confidence you could: treat yourself to some new underwear try out some scented products like body oils or lotions try a new hair cut. Your sex drive.

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Sexually transmitted infections. You can make an appointment for tests at a sexual health or Genito-Urinary Medicine GUM clinic — some are drop-in centres. Your physical health. New relationships.

Why do women have less sex as they age?

Things to discuss could be: whether you both want to have a sexual relationship your likes and dislikes any nerves you have about having sex any physical difficulties you have relating to sex. More about sex and relationships.

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Dating in later life. An expert's dating advice for over 50s. How much do we know about sex in later life? Become part of our story Facebook Twitter Youtube Instagram. up today address. Errors Please enter a valid address.

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As women get older, they tend to have less sex.