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About

There are so many resources for where to begin if you're curious about how to have your first threesome. What takes a little more skill or the help of a very sex-positive and nonjudgemental librarian to find are resources for how to process post-threesome. These four things I learned from my first threesome are ideas that took me years to articulate.

Description

Believe me, I needed a stiff drink after my family had left to return home.

Why not. Nothing is ever too late. The nightclub, upon entering, had that sleezy feel to it, literally; the beer mats were stuck to the bar. On the small dimly lit stage a comedian, wearing a tacky suit, with long side burns, ridiculous sunglasses, told jokes that choked in front of the patrons.

I thought I was having a drink in Purgatory — some drinking establishment mid-way between Heaven and Hell. I swear, there should have been a neon on the outside wall proclaiming this to be the In-between Loungewhere the good guys My first threesome bad guys come to have a drink and forget their troubles. The comedian, I hesitate to call him that, tapped the microphone and introduced a group of young men. These weirdos made up a band consisting of a drummer, a man with a guitar, and a pianist. Pete, the guitar guy, and vocalist, most caught my attention.

He was wearing a small pair of fluffy wings on his back and a halo attached to his baseball cap. The name on the front of his T-shirt re Pete. Lest, I assume, he should forget who he is after a few more snorts of coke. All that being said, the band were called The Demons. Go figure. The woman behind the bar, surprisingly, was modestly dressed, with just her breasts bared. Pete performed a drum roll then smacked the cymbals.

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The Demon fans cheered and clapped. Tony, the pianist, puffed away on his cigarette. Does that mean you know everyone in here? I said. My eyes felt like they were aching to drop away from keeping eye contact, wanting to gaze upon her sumptuous, if implanted breasts. Then the discipline was shot. Sorry, I said.

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Admitting I had no self-control over what my eyes preferred to stare upon. And she shrugged her shoulders in a manner that had those globes bouncing. So, I said, looking around, you know everyone in here? Quite rare these days, having a new face at the bar.

I think it just looked dirty enough to fit my mood. I dislike intensely my family coming from so far to love me, but more, I hate their leaving.

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Even Reckless, not eager to warm to my nephews, looked sad at their going. Loving family is so fucking hard. After the Demons finished their secondthe comedian reappeared, tapped his mic, and introduced the next act. Now, for your undiluted pleasure, please welcome, Nightshade. There was some awakening in the seedy dark, even applause. The girl who then appeared on stage under a spotlight, looked to be anything between twenty and thirty years old.

Another for you? The barmaid said. Oh crap, I was surely caught gawking at the spectacularly naked girl on the stage. I brought back my attention. Well, why not.

She pulled me another Pliny. Can I ask you something? Go ahead. What makes such a beautiful girl take up that kind of occupation? I said, slanting my head toward the stage.

It pays well. Not for everyone. You know her mother? But that went unheard as she had slipped away to serve a guy who looked, in every aspect, homeless, but was probably downplaying his wealth. This is San Francisco, after all.

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The biker had already moved from his spot at the bar to a better vantage point. I never left my barstool.

For the next fifteen minutes I was the only guy sitting at the bar. My family left today, heading back to Europe. I just needed something, and that something was a drink.

I took a walk and well, here is where I stopped walking. She said.

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My eyes, finally, made the greatest effort to keep eye contact. It is, I said.

Her remark surprised me. What else does she know? At this point, I was still missing my family. If I became vertical, gravity would strike me down.

My first threesome

I assumed the woman had years of experience behind a bar, knowing something about all kinds of men. I realized her face was quite beautiful. A loosely tied ponytail hanging to the right, and fake but great eyelashes. I knew which category I would fit into. I was saved from a momentary silence by a shout. Mom, get me a diet coke, please. It was the girl from the stage, wrapped in a robe.

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The daughter looked spectacularly beautiful. A moment later she tied on an apron and came the other side of the bar. I smiled and looked at the barmaid. She smiled back. We both understood what the other was thinking. The comedian was failing badly.

It takes a certain type of person to want to get on stage or on camera and be the center of attention. I have met many entertainers, from the obscure to the known to the world famous. I believe that the desire to get on stage and be worshiped by a crowd comes from an unhealthful place.