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Some men struggle with intimacy. Here MensLine Australia explores the notion that men have been socialised to appear to be strong and in control while intimacy encourages and enables vulnerability when connecting with another person.
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M odern dating is far less rule-based than it used to be. Fifty years ago, it was expected that the man would make the first move, pick up the bill, and generally be in the driving seat.
By its very nature, dating is a little bit nerve-racking and risky. It requires you to be vulnerable and open to new experiences. But rather than running a mile from it all, try to embrace it. Remember that any dates you do meet up with will be in exactly the same boat.
In truth, the best way to meet someone is to try a combination of the two. up to some online dating services, and at the same time make an effort to be sociable and meet people in real life.
Dating advice for men: top 10 tips
Online apps can become a crutch for people who struggle with social interactions so try not to rely on them too heavily — you need to practise feeling comfortable around people in real life. It does get easier the more you do it.
When meeting people in real life, make the effort to make good eye contact and smile. Listen carefully when they speak, and engage with their stories by offering similar anecdotes.
If you meet your date in a noisy, busy bar, you might struggle to find seats or even hear the other person speaking. Expensive restaurants, meanwhile, can make you feel pressured and uncomfortable. Also, remember that you can try something a bit different. It may seem obvious, but on an initial date first impressions are crucial. The first and easiest step in making a good impression is to look your best; so before you head out, take some time perfecting your appearance. Have a shower, spend a bit of time on your hair and make sure you wear something clean and preferably freshly ironed.
Other than your appearance, making a good first impression is about being relaxed, confident and friendly. A favourite first-date tip for men is to ask lots of questions. This is particularly good advice if you struggle with shyness. Just remember not to delve too deep too soon — keep the conversation light and easy by focusing on work, hobbies and travel plans.
Relationship advice for men
Lastly, make sure you talk and open up about yourself as well. It can be tricky to strike the perfect balance on a first date. You want to come across as confident but not arrogant, interested but not nosy, and polite but not old-fashioned.
The same balance needs to be struck when it comes to showing romantic interest in your date. One of the best things to do post-date is to talk it over with one or two trusted friends — whether or not it went well, and so on.
Relationship and dating advice for men: 12 rules
If the date went well, you can talk to your friends about how to proceed — and get their advice on how to craft that perfect follow-up text. And if the date went badly? Our sophisticated two-way matching system will pair you with people who fit your personality and interests to a T. If you're single and interested in meeting like-minded people, Telegraph Dating. With more thanlike-minded single people, Telegraph Dating is the best place to find romance. We urge you to turn off your ad blocker for The Telegraph website so that you can continue to access our quality content in the future.
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