Posted January 15, Reviewed by Gary Drevitch. If you are searching for a relationship partner, or if you are currently in a relationship, is it in your best interest to maintain high standards or to relax your ideals? Research suggests that it may be better for our relationships and for our own well-being to do a little bit of both. In fact, these traits are associated with better relationship outcomes. Mutual respect is even more strongly linked to satisfying romantic relationships than feelings of liking and loving one another Frei and Shaver, Further, not only does dishonesty often cause relationships to end, but increased honesty is associated with both better relationship outcomes and greater individual well-being Brunell et al.
Being in a relationship can bring up several different feelings that you might have about yourself and your partner, and there's a balance of equality that can help increase relationship satisfaction.
Thus, having too low of standards in a relationship or high, but for this article, I'll focus on lowcan interfere with you and your partner's ability to move forward in a happy, secure manner, as explained by experts at eHarmony. As a certified health coachI work with clients on finding themselves and feeling empowered within the relationships they have, while still thinking of their partner as an equal factor in decision making, lifestyle choices and long-term goals. There's a level of respect that must exist within a partnership, and that respect can be absent when the parties do not have reasonable expectations about the other person or the relationship's progression.
To have high or low expectations can be damaging, as it can set someone up for disappointment if those expectations are not met and often, expectations can be unreasonable. Here are eleven ways to know that your standards are too low in your relationship and that you should re-evaluate where you stand, as an individual and as a couple, in order to decide what's best for you.
While great relationships may require times to negotiate on decisions and put the other person first, there's a fine line, as you should not feel as though you are always "losing" or putting your partner's needs above your own. When things get tough or you're handling certain responsibilities on your own, it's nice to be able to look to someone for comfort, support and care, and often times, that person is your partner.
However, if he or she doesn't offer support, and you don't expect it from them, you might want to rethink the relationship, suggests Fay. Judith H. Tanenbaumover with me. It's okay to want some excitement in your relationship!
According to Tanenbaum, "lack of respect for your partner in the area that the bar is too low," could be a that you have low standards for your partner and that you don't provide respect for him or her regarding your perceived sense of his or her worth. Try to either lose the expectation, or chance the attitude to make your partner feel more valued. On the flipside, if you accept a sense of entitlement, unconstructive criticism or rude remarks from your partner, then you have low standards in the relationship and could definitely do better, say experts at Madame Noire.
Discuss with your partner or move on to someone who can give you more respect. If you are only concerned about what type of job, salary, or physical attributes a partner has, you might be thinking your standards are too high, but rather, they're actually too low, as they dismiss the need for emotional value and compatibility, suggests Stewart.
Instead, look for more. If you are too quick to establish a committed relationship, without truly understanding your partner and what makes him or her different than other people and relationships you might have had, it means you have lower expectations of what you deserve and can attain, suggests Anita Chlipalaa dating and relationship expert over interview with Shape.
Are women’s dating standards too low?
If you think that your "place" is to put dreams and work on hold, or to stay at home while your partner works, or to sacrifice your career or travel plans for your partner's which are all OK if these are your own desires and decisions! Do what's right for you!
No matter how you are feeling in your partnership, if you go in with low expectations, you could be setting yourself up for a relationship that will not benefit you, or your partner, long-term. Focus on your needs and how they can complement his or hers and then figure out how best to move forward.