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Daniel is a writer who focuses on blogging about happiness and motivation at Lifehack. Read full profile. I have felt unworthy of love for a lot of my life. Know the feeling? Stop psycho-analyzing every word choice your partner makes and be more present in the moment so you can notice the message behind their tone, physical presence, and posture.
Feeling insecure in your relationship can be really painful and upsetting. It can manifest itself in all kinds of ways.
You might feel like your partner is about to break up with you all the time. You might have trouble trusting them to not cheat on you. Or you may feel like your connection has been getting weaker and weaker for a while, and that the foundations are beginning to fall away.
Feeling like this can make it really difficult to have much faith in your future together - and can sometimes leave you wondering whether the easiest solution would be to break up. It can also begin to have really negative effects in other areas of your life. Your self-esteem and confidence can become undermined and this can make it difficult to feel able to address any problems. Insecurity can also stem from changes in your relationship.
It can also come from issues surrounding self-image or self-esteem. We can sometimes carry feelings from past relationships into our current one — including ones with family members.
Past romantic relationships where your trust was broken can make it difficult to trust someone else. The first port of call is talking things over together. You are here Home Relationship help Help with relationships Feeling unsatisfied in your relationship I feel insecure in my relationship.
I feel insecure in my relationship. Where does insecurity come from?
A sense of insecurity in your relationship can stem from a of different places. What can you do to address insecurity? However, if you do feel able, you may find the following tips useful: Keep things relaxed. Framing things more positively can get things off to a better start.
3. keep your independence.
Pick the right moment. Try to talk when things are going well, not badly.
Bringing things up in the middle of an argument is only likely to create more conflict. Say how you feel, not how you think they make you feel. Even if what your partner has to say is difficult to hear, try to stick with it. A conversation has to go both ways for it to work.
2. stop psyching yourself out.
Try to start by acknowledging their perspective may be different to yours. You could even plan. It might sound a little clinical, but it can be useful to think beforehand about what you want to say. Come back to it.
1. stop saying you are insecure.
These things are rarely solved in one chat. After a while, this kind of conversation will seem much less scary!
How we can help If you feel like trying any of the above would do more harm than good, you might like to consider relationship counselling. A counsellor will take an objective view and help you both talk about things that you might find it difficult to express.
You can try by yourself or with your partner. To book an appointment in your area, please search for your local services online. Related content:. The relationship MOT quiz.