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It happens to the best of couples. But over time, especially when life gets tough, that sexy spark can fizzle. The s that a couple is in a sexual rut can vary, according to Amy Levine, a New York City-based sex coach and the founder of Ignite Your Pleasurebut some common ones include:. Sometimes partners get to the point where they just don't see each other sexually, said Dr. She hears from couples who aren't touching intimately anymore —not holding hands or kissing for longer than just a peck.


So how do you maintain the romance when the romantic comedy becomes, well, real life? The lazy girl in me shudders at the following statement, but the truth is that keeping the spark alive in a LTR takes work. Long distances, contradicting schedules, or growing resentment are all common reasons couples lose their spark — otherwise known as chemistry or a particularly strong connection.

As days, months, and years go on, butterflies turn into to-do lists, and a relationship can grow into a routine. Having a partner who is the one constant or sure thing in your life is a great thing — rom-com worthy, even! Not enough quality time together and less focus on the relationship can leave you both feeling slightly unfulfilled, unappreciated, or worse, unhappy.

Source: laurengores. This means we also give and show love in different ways too.

Try to turn it into a game — at the beginning of every week, think of something super specific that you each have to work on for that week. Maybe you want them to plan a surprise date, bring home flowers one day, or compliment your looks. It may only be intended to last for a week, but actions will teach your partner not only what makes you feel loved, but how to make you feel loved.

As nonchalant as an Instagram scroll might seem, consider every single minute you have together precious.

Five ways to put the spark back into your relationship

Source: brendanfallis. Making eye contact with your partner actually has scientific backing see, I can be scientific! Source: brittenelle. Doing your own thing will also give you something new to catch up on and talk about, breaking out of that usual routine. I need not even mention self-care, but taking time for yourself and doing what you want every once in a while will increase your confidence. And we all know what happens when a woman le with confidence… hello, spark!

When was the last time you had a real conversation with your partner?

These 5 things will put the spark back in your relationship

A conversation that did not involve to-do lists or take place in the few minutes before bed? Although it gets difficult, aim for the majority of conversations to be interesting, funny, or enjoyable. The rest can be the mundane scheduling, disagreements, or routine.

Remember when you were a teenager and making out by the lockers was like, the thing to do? And it was so ridiculously exciting because that was the only thing to do? Times sure have changed thank godbut make sure kissing is still a part of your relationship.

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Do not limit kissing to be just a means of saying hello and goodbye, or as a way to initiate intimacy. Source: kevinberruuu. Watch something you know will make you both laugh and build up inside jokes as much as you care about building trust.

Bring up funny memories, send your partner memes true to your shared humor, and tease each other like how middle schoolers flirt. But remember the days when you used to dress up for them?

How to put the spark back in your relationship

Now, you both have to be on the same for this one. If you want your partner to say or do more romantic things, it can feel a lot like nagging if you are constantly asking them to give you more.

Instead of asking all the time, think of how much more you can be giving to your partner. Be generous with affection, and if you love them unconditionally, prove it. If all else fails, think back on the behaviors you both had at the beginning of your relationship. Think about how you thought of them, how you treated them, how much you wanted to make them happy. April 25, Log In Good to see you again.

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It happens to the best of us.


Has your once-happy relationship devolved into bickering, resentment or just ignoring each other?


Anyone that has been in a long-term relationship can attest that all relationships go through periods of ebb and flow, closeness and distance, intimacy and separation.


Posted February 13, Reviewed by Gary Drevitch.