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That is tough, tough stuff. Love and breakups are universal. When you get your heart broken, it can feel like this is such a personal thing.

Have compassion for yourself for experiencing a hard aspect of being human. It was once explained to me perfectly how to view feelings. Feelings come and go like waves; they change. Even if in your mind you were sad all day, there were probably moments where you saw your dog and your feelings went to love, or your friend sent you a funny video and it made you laugh.

Did you find it hard to get over your first love?

Feelings will come and go, they are there to simply be felt. One of the hardest things to do is to go through a breakup and for the people around you to be unaware of it. You fake smile, fake enjoy yourself, when all you want to do is cry. Use this breakup or letting go of the past as a chance to grow closer and have a more open relationship with your friends or family.

PS — in the present moment is where joy can happen! Talking to someone like a friend, coach or therapist can also give you a broader perspective of the relationship. Sometimes taking a step out of your own mind makes you realize why this breakup or letting go is so beneficial for you. One of the ways that can keep us from moving on is not fully expressing our truth to the other person. Maybe we walked away from the relationship trying to be the cool girl or guy, rather than expressing how we really felt. Although it may be hard, express yourself to this person. Not in the sense of trying to win them back, but express whatever is true for you.

If you can, set up a time to express your truth to them after the breakup. People come into our lives at the exact right time. Whether they are a soul mate, a best friend, or a teacher, they come in to teach us what we need to be taught or to experience in order to grow. Some stay with us forever and others come in for a short, beautiful time until they are no longer part of our journey.

Forgive this person for now showing up in the way you wanted them to. Forgive them for being young if they were young. This is one of my favourite forgiveness mediation s 4. What are your unique goals, dreams and passions? I remember after my first real break up I was completely anxiety-ridden about the future. Everything I had thought of for my future was taken away. What does my future look like?

Psychologists explain why you can't forget your first love

Give yourself compassion. Going through a breakup and learning to create a new vision for yourself can be filled will all sorts of overwhelm. The good news is, within the unknown, when nothing is certain, anything is possible. Now that you have more space to create a new future, you can go for the dreams that feel right for you.

1. sometimes time doesn't heal all wounds.

After a breakup, I was reflecting back on it with my friend and her mom who was writing a book about human needs. Through our chat, I had realized that one of my core needs is feeling safe.

Looking back at the relationship, I realized that I did not feel safe in the direction of the relationship for months. Write down what your needs are. Write down your needs and view your past relationship from a new perspective.

Where were your core needs not being met? Gratitude for the person and the relationship. Gratitude for having an experience of love. Write down what you are grateful to have had or experienced. In order for you to have been in a relationship with them, they must have had qualities that you loved.

Be grateful and relish in the fact that it was YOU:. YOU attracted a person with those incredible qualities and because it was YOU who attracted that, you can attract those qualities to you again. What lessons did you learn that made you a better person or partner in the future? Experiencing heart-break makes you a more compassionate, well-rounded partner in your next relationship. In this case, that something was someone: him or her. Now you can be available for something or someone who is. Getting back out there with someone just for the sake of getting back out there, without any emotional excitement, can make you feel even worse.

Focus on you and your passions and open up to the possibility of attracting someone new in your life that gives you butterflies. What does your ideal relationship feel like? What are they like emotionally, physically, mentally, spiritually? Often people who we are wildly attracted to show up in a different package then we would have originally thought we wanted.

What types of things do you do together? What are the non-negotiables?

Here's why getting over your first love feels impossible

Then l astly, what type of person would you have to be to attract and keep the kind of person you want? Who would you have to be to attract your person to you; the relationship of your dreams? Now is the time to re-invent your reality. I know it can feel daunting, but creating newness, excitement and passion in your life is only going to bring more of that to you.

Where have you always wanted to travel?

Now is your chance to bring in more of what you love into your life. Now is the time to start that new yoga class or take the online business course. Now is the time to be true to yourself and what you love. Add new people to your life, new social circles, new clients. Add in people that you genuinely like and click with. Every day, be committed to showing up for yourself and your joy. Plus, your mind will begin to forget about attracting your new person, and will focus more about attracting a rad life for yourself.

This new person will just be a byproduct of the incredible energy you have. Read About Our Story. The hard but doable! Firstly, feel it. Feel sad. Feel angry. Feel confused. Know that feelings are ever-changing. Be conscious of your feelings and notice when they switch to feelings of joy, happiness, gratitude, clarity or excitement and relish in those moments. Let yourself off the hook for not saying the perfect thing to them during the breakup.

Accepting he or she is not your person at least not for right now. Create a new vision for the future. When we open ourselves up to new possibilities, the world brings us an abundance of opportunities. Have gratitude. Gratitude for taking a risk.

Be grateful and relish in the fact that it was YOU: YOU attracted a person with those incredible qualities and because it was YOU who attracted that, you can attract those qualities to you again. Seeing rejection as a way to open up space for the right things to come in. Write out your new ideal relationship. Get SO specific. What is their personality like?

The 7 things i did to get over a big breakup — and why research says they work

How do they make you feel? Create newness Now is the time to re-invent your reality. Comments are closed.

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Do you find it hard to get over your first love?