- Years old:
My dating life is essentially the complete opposite of a fairytale. It's more like a romantic comedy, but without the romance and with most of the comedy coming from sad montages of me eating ice cream after a date gone wrong.
Just like other elements that can make or break a romantic relationship, the way you manage and talk about money with your partner needs to be established slowly, and considered as things grow. Job and life advice for young professionals. At first glance, it seems that there are few things less incompatible than dating and finance. Surely talking about money is a real turn-off for a potential partner? Well, yes and no. Ultimately, dating is about getting to know someone, and learning to make decisions together. And few decisions are more important than how you choose to budget your money.
I tried the 'extreme honesty' dating method and it transformed my love life
Too many people fail to consider money or finances as an important factor when they are falling in love. Initially, this is understandable.
But just like other elements that can make or break a romantic relationship — trust, communication, and healthy boundaries — the way you manage and talk about money with your partner needs to be established slowly, and considered as things grow. How we each feel about and handle our finances is unique, and usually built form habits and experiences that are deeply personal.
This is what gives money the power to destroy a partnership or not. But I am saying you should start building honesty about your finances early on.
Who should pay on a first date?
But how you approach this question — both as an individual and as a potential couple — can say a lot about your financial future together. As with most things when it comes to relationships, the key here is honesty and clarity. Rather than letting those assumptions lurk in the background, be open about money right from the get-go.
The goal is to handle this situation in a way that is comfortable for both you and your partner. You should also steer clear of either assuming that your date will pay, or that they know your financial situation or you theirs. As you get to know each other, you and your potential partner will likely experience two money-related issues. It can be difficult to come up with a hard limit on this, of course, but pointing out that you are saving toward a goal, or looking to pay down your student loans, is a good way of bringing a little fiscal reality and honesty into your dreamy romance.
Why you should go for first date awkwardness
The second issue is that most people have at least one part of their finances they are embarrassed about. In a new relationship, you may naturally try to evade this particular topic, and keep an aspect of your finances secret. For most young people, the topic is debt. Most members have just entered the workforce for the first time, and more than a third already carry personal debt.
The key is to think of your finances as another aspect of your personality — like your hobbies and your childhood memories.
For instance, how would you share a personal story with your partner? How would you admit to them one of your guilty pleasures? Approach the topic of money in the same way.
More often than not, you will find that when you are honest, your partner will appreciate and trust you more than they did before. Take the power away from money by thinking of it as a way for someone else to get to know you better.
As your relationship progresses, to the point that you start to go on more regular dates and consider building a life together, the depth to which you discuss your finances should also progress. Admittedly, this is challenging. These conversation can also help you spot potential red flags before taking those big steps. Just as every couple is different, the approach you take to your shared finances will be unique.
However, in my experience, there are First date honesty few elements most successful relationships share in their approaches. When you are beginning to save and build a life with someone, you need to keep careful track of every dollar spent, especially if you are considering using a shared or s. Second, you should talk openly not just about your current financial situation, but also about your financial past, and particularly the way that you were raised. The way your parents approached money when you were will inevitably affect the way you do now, and it will be important for you and your partner to understand this so that each of you has greater empathy towards where the other is coming from.
Especially if you yourself decide to become a parent one day, knowing the financial habits you want to keep, or throw away, will be useful. Yes, money is scary and stressful, but planning a future with someone you love is fun. So let yourself imagine a little, and as a part of that, imagine how you will pay for your fantasy future as well.
First-date red flags
By cultivating this skill now, you will also be setting yourself up for the future, because as our lives move more online, having these vulnerable discussions will grow more and more challenging. So make an investment in your romantic future today by getting the conversation going. You have 2 free article s left this month.
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Kate holmquest | september 15,
Who Should Pay on a First Date? As things get more serious, remember that almost everyone has a different budget for dating. Lastly, before making any life-changing decisions, you and your partner should arrive at shared understanding of your financial goals and how to reach them. Find opportunities to discuss your finances frequently, and share you financial background — like how your parents raised you to think about money — so that you can develop empathy towards one another.
These conversation can also help you spot potential red flags before taking the next big steps. A weekly newsletter to help young professionals find their place in the working world and realize their personal and career goals. Up. Thanks for subscribing,! You can view our other newsletters or opt out at any time by managing your preferences. on Financial management or related topics Budgeting and Difficult conversations.
Kiara Taylor has more than 10 years of experience in finance, ranging from fixed income to emerging markets. She enjoys writing on the impact of both micro and macro trends on global finance, and has contributed to InvestopediaThe Balanceand Crunchbase. Partner Center.