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Hunting down an old crush or flame used to be mainly the stuff of fantasy and movie scripts or, in real life, an appearance at your high school reunion. Kalish has been conducting research on reunited couples since and is an expert on rekindled romances and lost loves. While there are no statistics on the of online reconnections, there are plenty that indicate people are certainly trying. Lynn last name withhelda divorced 61 year-old, of San Luis Obispo, Calif.


When Romeo meets Juliet, he tells her that this is the moment he first begins to live. And indeed, Romeo is right. There is something magical and life-changing about first love, especially if you were a teenager or in your early 20s when it happened.

Most people never forget it, and many adults wonder from time to time what happened to the person who once transformed their life. Aaron Ben Zeev, an expert on Internet relationships, said that people want to find their first loves because they idealize the past and are longing for circumstances that no longer exist.

Dating tips for finding the right person

They are also just curious. They are hopeful that if they find that person, the outcome will be better than the first time around.

Instead of breaking up, true love will last a lifetime. Part of the reason we so idealize our first love is that research shows people remember any event that occurred when they were between 10 and 30 years old more intensely and more vividly than at other times in their lives.

Things that happen in our formative years become part of our personal mythology. The first time we fall in love, according to author Thomas Lewis, has a once-in-a-lifetime intensity, and the longing for that person can last for years. Nancy Kalish is probably the foremost expert in the world on looking up old lovers.

After looking up her own first love as a young adult, she became fascinated by the whole process, wrote her Ph. She says that in the s, it was rare for a person to be able to locate a lost love, although many tried. Today the Internet has changed everything.

12 basic rules to find love

Websites like Classmates. According to Dr. Kalish, many times, people are casually surfing the net and find a lost love on a whim, and then meet that person that same day.

The usual sequence of events is that rekindlers e-mail one another, meet for coffee, and land up in a hotel room, according to Dr. That first reunion is often powerful and intense because the hope and connection can be profound on the part of both the man and woman involved. Among those who married, the divorce rate was only 1.

How to find a long lost love

Whether the romance works out usually depends upon why the couple broke up in the first place when they were young. If outside forces made them break up — such as disapproving parents or that they were too young to get married — they are more likely to stay together.

However, if they had personality traits that were irritating or had vast differences in values, these problems tend to resurface and break them apart after their reunions. Kalish has only one word of advice for anyone who decides to look up a past love for whatever reason. Are You Married? In A Committed Relationship?

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As years go by, you can often find yourself thinking about the one that got away.


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Millions of happily-paired-off seniors have already reaped the benefits of the best dating sites for over 50 adults, and with the right information and approach, you can too.