AlexisWrite a message
- I'm 48 years old
Nothing serious, but always sweet.
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Sex swinger ready women wonting sex lonly lady wanting adult sex toys. Horny bitches seeking horny japanese Local women wanting adult chatting. I wish your arms weren't the only place that could comfort me from this day. And I wish most of all that it wasn't you who broke my heart. I didn't want to feel pathetic by writing you a sappyand I could never get this out while actually speaking to you; not anymore.
So if you find this here, great. If you don't, I can at least pretend I said my peace.
Whether you meant it or not, two things you said to her are going to be needles in my brain every time I think of you. You told her there was no connection between us, and you told her you weren't going to see me again. Even if you were just venting about my over-zealousness to her, because you needed to get it out, there was no reason to say those things unless you meant them in some way. Even if I can get over the fact that you mocked how I felt about you to another woman, I won't be able to shake the feeling that it's always going to be one sided, until you are tired of me.
Remember how shy I was? Remember how I confessed that I second guess every bit of affection I want to show to a person? Multiply that by one hundred now. Even if we did give this a second chance, I don't think you would want me with as cold as I will be to you.
Every time I will want to touch you, I will stop myself because I won't believe you actually want my affection. Every kiss will be lost in a stalemate between my heart and my mind. Every sigh and soft word and intimate moment we shared just feels like a puppet show; a prank, where I didn't realize I was only dancing for your entertainment.
Part of me is so mad that I let you make me feel foolish for how I behaved with you, when you were the one to talk about love at first sight, and you were the one who asked if I would move to another state with you, the first day we met. You told her that I was crazy and that I told you I loved you before we even met. You know that was a lie. The closest I ever came to that was telling you I may be falling for you, and that was after many intimate, physical, things; definitely not before.
You betrayed my trust, violated our private moments, and exaggerated your description of me, to play the innocent victim. And for what ends? To entertain yourself, and maybe impress a woman you knew for an hour. I find it hard to believe that you see nothing wrong with acting one way with a person, and talking about it another way with others.
I can barely grasp, that with all your intelligence, you never realized that it would hurt people to know you spoke poorly of them behind their backs; speaking as if they were irrational and abnormal, when you instigated and reciprocated everything you would later mock. Long before this incident, I wondered if I pursued a relationship with you if I might end up like your ex-wife.
The first things you ever told me about her were that she wasn't smart enough for you, and she wasn't a true match for you now that you had the confidence to be who you really wanted to be. So I thought, what could happen to me in seven years or lesswhen I am not good enough to meet the new standards you may develop with your new-found self-esteem?
You confused me even more to when you professed how much you still care about her. How can you say awful things about people you care about?
Or better yet, how can you really care, when it is so easy to say things that would make them cry? What makes you better than her, or me, to the extent that you can mock how much we care about you to others like it is some trivial penance paid by the peasants who serve you? In the end, your words AND your actions are who you are.
If what you say and what you do oppose one another, how can anyone know who you really are? You cannot ask a person to love you or trust what you say on face value alone if they have no basis for learning which is the real you. Even after all this, I wish I didn't still care about you. I wish I could just say "fuck you, I deserve better.
You made me feel safer, faster than anyone I have ever met. And just as fast, the rug was pulled from under me.
I wish I could say I would be able to trust you again. I wish I believed that you deserved it. I am just going to have to settle for the fact that grand romantic reconciliations only happen in movies, no matter how hard I wish. Women wants sex dating. Quick Browse. Advanced Search. Quick Search. I am a:.
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