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Regarding romantic relationships, you may accept certain traits about your partner while only tolerating others.
Of course, it helps to understand the differences between accepting and tolerating your partner in order to make the differentiation. However, Olver works with couples to go from tolerating a behavior to accepting it, then even appreciating it.
That said, here are some ways you can see that your partner accepts younot just tolerates you. In a relationshipeach person has certain wants and needs, and hopefully they match up more so than not. Elizabeth Cohenclinical psychologist, tells Bustle.
I wish they would hurry up. Why do they even do this?
Durvasula says. Do you accept your partner or do you try to change them? She says that a clear example of this is having religious differences.
For example, Vian says that she once had a husband client complain that it annoyed him how much his wife would often leave the car door unlocked in the driveway; he tolerated it, but it still would still wind him up. DePompo says. She says that acceptance feels more neutral or indifferent — and has the potential to move towards appreciation or fondness — while tolerance feels like the emotions of annoyance, irritation, and tension, which can show up in behaviors of criticismsarcasm, and judgment.
Instead, you sit there, frustrated for hours, thinking of all the other things you could be doing together that would be mutually enjoyable. Similarly, Dr. DePompo also says to pay attention to your daily patterns with your partner to determine if you are more accepting or tolerating of them.
Like Dr. Cohen says above, the key difference is how you feel and think in a given situation. Nancy Cramerleadership consultant and founder of Correct Course Counseling, has a guiding philosophy she uses with her clients.
She says one client was constantly getting sideswiped by anger from his partner for no apparent reason; no matter what changes he made to his behavior, he was always facing an angry response. By Natalia Lusinski.